98 Parker Street

The Royal Mail was on our radar after seeing it on our favorite food show with Anthony Bourdain going nuts over it.  It's not in a super convenient location when compared to the other places we would want to get to when we make the trip back home so we added it to the To-Do List the List... not expecting the opportunity to arise for awhile, if ever.  We modified our level of wanting to get here much higher after hearing about it somewhere else, reading about it in a random article and then doing some more research.  Bottom line, when this recent trip was in its infancy in terms of negotiating time with family and friends the Royal Mail was always in consideration for best way to make it all work.  We made it work!*  It was also the first of only two meals we had 100% planned and signed up for before getting on the plane.

I suspect most people would say that the Royal Mail is in the middle of nowhere, but that's not really fair, not at all.  It is a tiny town, that's for sure, and you do need to spend some time in the car to get here (I guess there could be a bus?) but it's right on the edge of the Grampians where even casual walkers can have a great time.  It's barely an hour and a half from Ballarat and the Coast and lots of other fun things in between and not far away.  It's definitely a destination event if you're planning on dining and although I suspect they would take a walk-in, that's not really the way they do it.  But middle of nowhere?  Not really.

The building (which includes a good number of hotel rooms in close proximity) is modern looking so I'm pretty sure when they decided to set up shop they started from the beginning.  Inside, there's big open windows giving a view of sorts of the Grampians and on the other side big thick windows give you a nice view of the highway (not much activity once the sun goes down...) through the town without the noise.  There's not really any hard delineations, but there's clearly 3 sections - the fancy (set, 10 course menu or nothing) section for couples (10 tables, perhaps?), the fancy section for groups (probably room for 25 or 30 depending on table sizes?) and the not so fancy section (but still pretty swish) where there's a more bistro type menu available.  Not a lot of artwork on the walls, but interesting things on tables and counters and they use the wine glasses (more about them later) as a fun sort of display.  There is an open pass area into the kitchen you're able to take a peek in at, but we were not sat in a place where we could get a constant look at - no noise at all coming out of it that we noticed.

Everything is very prim and proper, tables all lined up just right, chairs the same and I think the tablecloths were ironed on the tables.  Service areas with everything in it's place, and mostly hidden until needed.  There's no host stand as such, but the boss is upon you pretty quickly when you enter.  He sat us, made some pretty standard small talk about our suntansburns and took off to grab us some menus.  Not a lot to consider because we were reserved for the 10 course deal, but you do get the choice of 'all things considered' v 'vegetarian'.  We briefly considered getting 1 of each so as to get a few extra dishes on the table, but ultimately didn't for fear of getting a small awesome taste of something we couldn't (or wouldn't want to) share - don't worry, we had more than enough as it was.  There's also a pretty big and pretty fancy wine list.  We just gave it a cursory look because we knew we wanted to put our trust in the wine pairings.

You don't get a Server.  It's quite formal, and I'd tend to lean towards too formal but that's just me.  On the floor we had the F&B Manager, the Sommelier and 3 Servers.  From what we could tell, the Servers have almost no autonomy, with almost all their 'chores' being directed from the Manager and occasionally the Sommelier.  There was no chatting going on unless you instigated it and clearly the 'bosses' preferred to be the chatty ones. 

When reading the menu you're always going to get what it says, but rarely how you expect it.  They take the menu away from you and give you a to-go copy as you leave so when each course comes (and you get one Server each and the rule, it seems, is that both plates must be placed at exactly the same time) one of your Servers stays and fills you in on what you got. In most cases when it was a Server you got not much more than a repeat of what was written down, but if you got the boss you'd get some useful pointing of what was what (we really needed this for the eel dish!) and more about how the dish was made.  Fortunately we figured this out after a couple of courses (which were mostly self explanatory) so we nearly always (politely) called the boss over for some further explanation.

We understand they have their own vegetable garden and orchard (not obviously in sight of the place from what we could tell from a brief walk around the property after breakfast the next morning) and work with mostly local providers.  Assuming that's true, the gardener(s) need a hardy 'thank you' because all the non-meat stuff looked and tasted amazing and the other providers should get one too.

The wine guy knows his wine.  He did seem to change his spiel a bit from table to table and I'm going to guess that's based on the early feedback / questions he gets from the table.  We asked questions and he answered them in a way that we could follow along with, which we appreciate.  We didn't have any problems with the pairings and we liked that they kept it local when not selecting out of Europe.  But having said that, I think all the pairings were at the safe end of the scale all within the range of things I could probably come up with given their cellar and google to play with.  All technically good wines, absolutely, but we've enjoyed a couple of other meals like this where the pairings were more towards the other end of the scale.  I'm not complaining!  Just observing and postulating!  We super duper appreciate the range of glassware used - if nothing else, it's fun.  It's clear that they subscribe to the theory that different wines shine in different shaped glasses because I think we only had one repeat.  As an aside, he must be kept pretty fit because the cellar required him to head outside and down the street, perhaps even across the road...

Our meal went exactly like this:

• house-made sourdough wheat or rye - we tried both and as good as they were they had nothing on the house-made smoked butter which came with some salt flakes
• chicken crisps; pork sandwich; globe artichoke & mayonnaise - the chicken crisp was our first (non-bread) bite of the evening and was almost certainly the best single component of any dish to follow.  I don't know how they do it, but it's an awesome piece of skin.  Fun sandwich, and pleasant artichoke to also get us started.
  • nv demarne-frison 'goustan' (Champagne) - very bubbly, quite dry and a bit yeasty.
• heirloom carrots, garlic, soy cream, sorrel seeds - amazing selection of carrots (inlcuding a couple of tiny, almost needle like, ones), all pleasantly sweet, all a little bit different.  Fine on their own, but adding a bit of everything else is the way to go.
  
  • 2009 domaine de bellivière Teffraie' (Coteaux du Loir) - kind of sweet, ok with the carrots, a sort of oily mouth feel
• egg yolk, rye, legumes, yeast - if you don't like your poached egg runny, you may struggle to get the full yummy-ness of this dish.  Again, all fine bites, but get a bit of everything together, including the yeast. 
  • 2007 bannockburn 'srh' chardonnay (Geelong) - quite a bit of wood, but very balanced; smooth even.
• prawn and asparagus, quinoa, kohlrabi and chive - not the way I cook my quinoa - it was crunchy and I was sad there's wasn't more of this pleasant surprise...  Wasn't expecting prawn sashimi (if that's a fair comparison), but that's ok because I also wasn't expecting a crispy prawn head.  I think I preferred this dish more eating everything separately, even the vegetable I've never heard of before and the white with green striped asparagus.
  
  • 2009 gerard boulay 'chavignol' (Sancerre) - nothing much to the nose, a bit of acid and fruity.
• sand flathead, mustard, nori, sugar snap peas - a great piece of fish, very snappy peas, not your standard nori, best altogether.
  
  • 2009 crawford river riesling (Henty) - quite a simple wine, but worked well with the dish. A little drier than not, a little fruit and no overt nose.
• eel and bone marrow, eggplant, pickled vegetables - they do something to the eel that stops it looking like an eel, but it sure tastes like one.  Marrow just right and especially moorish, fun selection of vegetables just lightly pickled.
  • 2010 best's 'old clone' pinot noir (Grampians) - rich, but not overpowering; kind of spicy and earthy. I kind of would have liked to try it with the flathead course, but no complaints having it with this one.
• duck and cucumber, coastal plants, calamari cream - the plants were the most interesting component (is it fair to describe them as cactus like, but without the prickles?), but the duck was done just right and was so so juicy.  Plants on their own and enjoy the popping and juice squirting (in your mouth, please), but get some calamari cream with the duck.
  
  • 1993 château pontet canet (Pauillac Bordeaux) - a great wine, nice long finish, still some tannins (but probably not for much longer), earthy to the nose and fruity but not overpowering in any way.  Good luck getting a hold of some, but if you do you'll be very very very happy.  Decanted a good hour before poured for us, my joke about it being the only decanted bottle because someone broke a cork didn't go down so well...  I'm quite sure it would not have been the same wine had it been opened and poured immediately..
• fallen fruit; apple, almond, caramel - a great dessert, a whole (and I mean whole as in stem, seeds, core, skin) apple sort of dried and baked.  Think of the best apple pie you've ever had and multiply by about 50.
  
  • chamomile iced tea - served as a palette cleanser it did it's job, but my least favorite beverage of the evening.  But, I appreciate the thought and reasoning behind it.
• berries and fig leaf, white chocolate and rose - a fun dessert, gone a little too quickly...
  • 2008 marenco 'pineto' brachetto d'aqui (Piedmont) - spritzy, sweet, big fruity nose, almost porty in richness.  A perfect match with the dish.
• pistachio, hazlenut, honeycomb, chocolate - just eat it!  But make sure you mix it up and get a bit of everything together.
  • sanchez romate cream sherry (Jerez) - something new to us, sort of figgy in taste, very rich.  I prefered it solo after the dish was done.
• plums - a (late?) addition to the menu, we're told they were picked that day from their own Orchard and never refrigerated.  Now that's how a plum should taste!  If they told us the variety, I forgot, sorry.

We've done it, and we're extremely happy for having been able to do so.  We thank Mr Bourdain because without his interest we may have missed the other things that really solidified our interest in the place.  We got to try some fun dishes, some amazing wines, and enjoy an awesome environment in and around the place, but it's a treat, and a very very special treat for us, that we're only realistically able to do once - and not just because it's the antipodes (more or less) of where we live.  Of course, if some nice benefactor wants to shout us...

Stay JOLLY!
D 

* - no family or friends' feelings were hurt, nor was anyone inconvenienced by us partaking in this dinner!